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[laughter] >> jon: jon stewart, "the daily show." i have a quick question. as a frequent radioshack customer, i may be qualified to tell you what may be an issue with your plan, but go ahead. >> the problem with it was the limited battery life. [laughter and applause] >> jon: see, the batteries at radioshack are designed to work with one of those little remote control helicopters that work... once. [laughter] so now that we know the g.p.s. tracking system for the assault rifles we sold mexican cartels didn't work, how do we find out where the guns are? what is plan "b"? >> the only way you're going to find those guns in mexico is where? >> at crime scenes in which either the bad guy was killed and his gun was left at the scene or used during the commission of a crime in which the gun was left behind. >> jon: okay. [laughter] so our plan to prevent american guns from being used in mexican gang violence is to provide mexican gangs american guns. [laughter] to use according to our plan. [laughter] how exactly did we convince the mexican government to cooperate
[laughter] >> jon: jon stewart, "the daily show." i have a quick question. as a frequent radioshack customer, i may be qualified to tell you what may be an issue with your plan, but go ahead. >> the problem with it was the limited battery life. [laughter and applause] >> jon: see, the batteries at radioshack are designed to work with one of those little remote control helicopters that work... once. [laughter] so now that we know the g.p.s. tracking system for the...
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Jul 18, 2011
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jon: jon: did you take us with you on your honeymoon? jenna: i didn't have a lot of internet service. i did my best. go to foxnews.com/mobile, use all lower case letters. find out how to stay connected with your cellphone, smart phone or any other mobile device. go to foxnews.com for live alerts, streaming live videos and watch your favorite clips from your favorite shows all on the go. ú,úx @g @ ;3
jon: jon: did you take us with you on your honeymoon? jenna: i didn't have a lot of internet service. i did my best. go to foxnews.com/mobile, use all lower case letters. find out how to stay connected with your cellphone, smart phone or any other mobile device. go to foxnews.com for live alerts, streaming live videos and watch your favorite clips from your favorite shows all on the go. ú,úx @g @ ;3
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Jul 28, 2011
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>> jon: but isn't that... isn't it easy to say that it's a very easy thing to do to dismiss it, not all organizations that claim to be partisan are as such and they're not all created equal and what is the thing that is stymieing the debate? or allowing it to be honest? what is it that's preventing, in your mind, the honest aspect of it? >> because i think people don't listen. i think that it's right now as i said people get locked into one perspective or another and, you know, it's part of what's going on. and gulf stream to web sites with other like-minded people. they even get into subgroups of that web site and if you're not exactly on target, you're a bad guy. if you don't agree with me, you're a traitor. the last book i wrote "enough" was about bill cosby and cosby saying "we've got problems in the black community, out-of-wedlock births, high dropout rates, acceptance of the drug culture. we have to stop this." and cosby, all of a sudden he was labeled a bad guy, he's airing dirty laundry. look at what's
>> jon: but isn't that... isn't it easy to say that it's a very easy thing to do to dismiss it, not all organizations that claim to be partisan are as such and they're not all created equal and what is the thing that is stymieing the debate? or allowing it to be honest? what is it that's preventing, in your mind, the honest aspect of it? >> because i think people don't listen. i think that it's right now as i said people get locked into one perspective or another and, you know, it's...
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[laughter] >> jon: so even student council is bad? >> well, it's a gateway office, jon. [laughter] >> jon: john, i have a friend. i want to talk to you about him, a teenager. his son is a teenager, recently turned sullen and combative, and he's quite secretive. >> well, lucky him, john, he's okay. a time to worry is when your child becomes suspiciously extroverted, if he's suddenly fond of corny jokes or likes to walk around the dinner table shaking hands and asking, what's good here? what are we eating? when the neighbors bring a baby over, does he kiss it repeatedly on the cheek over and over again looking for the cameras? if so, bing, you he could be looking at four to eight years in the illinois statehouse followed by 15 to 20 years in prison. >> jon: terrifying, john. do you think it's getting through to the next generation? >> we can only hope, but it's not for lack of trying. already they're launching a statewide campaign to keep kids on the right track. talk to your children, jon, talk to your kids before it's too late. >> jon: thank you so much, john oliver with
[laughter] >> jon: so even student council is bad? >> well, it's a gateway office, jon. [laughter] >> jon: john, i have a friend. i want to talk to you about him, a teenager. his son is a teenager, recently turned sullen and combative, and he's quite secretive. >> well, lucky him, john, he's okay. a time to worry is when your child becomes suspiciously extroverted, if he's suddenly fond of corny jokes or likes to walk around the dinner table shaking hands and asking,...
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Jul 26, 2011
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right there. >> jon: i tried that once. with him? >> with him. >> jon: jumped on. with another friend, vomited about 30 seconds. for me, that's like riding with the blue angels. that's like i'm never doing that again. you got to do it once. >> i have to say sincerely i was so impressed by him. i means that's a pretty bold move to go and perform at lincoln center singing, you know, sondheim in front of 3,000 people. and that's sort of out of his comfort zone and he was just really great at it. >> jon: i actually went and saw it live. it was tremendous. >> thank you. >> jon: and i thoroughly enjoyed all of you guys but i was stunned that you had-- i heard you had like two weekends to work on it. they put on a full production of company, like an 18 hour play -- >> it's not. >> jon: and you learned the singing and the dancing was extraordinary that you even had the time to put it together. >> once a year they like to do a semi staged concert version of a show as a gala. and this was frar from semi staged. i think they said that just to get us all to sign up. and then w
right there. >> jon: i tried that once. with him? >> with him. >> jon: jumped on. with another friend, vomited about 30 seconds. for me, that's like riding with the blue angels. that's like i'm never doing that again. you got to do it once. >> i have to say sincerely i was so impressed by him. i means that's a pretty bold move to go and perform at lincoln center singing, you know, sondheim in front of 3,000 people. and that's sort of out of his comfort zone and he was...
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Jul 28, 2011
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jon jon what do they want foreigners to know when they become a citizen? >> a lot of multiple choice questions, but nothing absports. not one sport question. >> jon: what did they ask about? >> history, politics. >> jon: please. we don't know anything about that. why should you have to? well, it's always very nice to see you. and you'll come back for the wizard of oz prequel because i'm excited about that. is it for kids, too? >> yes, yes. >> jon: "the whistleblower" opens in new york and l.a. august 5th. expands to other cities throughout august. >> jon: that's our show. join us tomorrow night at 11:00. here it is, yourme
jon jon what do they want foreigners to know when they become a citizen? >> a lot of multiple choice questions, but nothing absports. not one sport question. >> jon: what did they ask about? >> history, politics. >> jon: please. we don't know anything about that. why should you have to? well, it's always very nice to see you. and you'll come back for the wizard of oz prequel because i'm excited about that. is it for kids, too? >> yes, yes. >> jon: "the...
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. >> jon: yes! finally. ( applause ) let me tell you what's going on. i do an interview with chris wallace. i mentioned fox news viewers were the most consistently misinformed viewers in every poll. politifact said i shouldn't have said every poll. just most. i brought up a 21 lie salute of politifact spot fact checking so i assume that chris wallace now begins the work of apologizing for fox's many false and misleading statements. probably do a blooper show and carry us into the 2014 midterm s with a clear conscious. >> do you believe that fox news is exactly the ideological equivalent... of nbc news. >> i think we're the counterweight. i think they have a liberal agenda. i think we tell the other side of the story. jon seemed to think that was a big deal that i said we tell the other side of the story. i wish i had said the full story. here's what i meant. >> jon: wait. that was a big deal that you said that. that's your setting the record straight? i accidentally told the truth and wish i could t
. >> jon: yes! finally. ( applause ) let me tell you what's going on. i do an interview with chris wallace. i mentioned fox news viewers were the most consistently misinformed viewers in every poll. politifact said i shouldn't have said every poll. just most. i brought up a 21 lie salute of politifact spot fact checking so i assume that chris wallace now begins the work of apologizing for fox's many false and misleading statements. probably do a blooper show and carry us into the 2014...
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Jul 26, 2011
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. >> jon: captain america! (cheers and applause) >> jon: let me get you caught up. while many americans were enjoying america's fast food sidewalks and justy dashboard steaks our country moved close ever to self-inflicted economic coulds la, something we have known has been companying for as long as we have been told, it's coming. >> treasury secretary tim geithner sut approximatinging a date on what says would be a national disaster, as early as parch 31st. >> we can give congress until the end of june. >> geithner says the nation will disolve on its dead july 8th. >> moved the drop dead date from july 8th to august 2 wnd if congress doesn't act by the second they will put our-- they will downgrade our credit, first time in history, and if that happens, are you going to see cat strafk damage across the american economy and across the global economy. >> jon: the only other catastrophe that's moved its date this often was spicerman turn off the darbling. (laughter) (laughter) 112th congress has been completely unable to muster a debt sealing agreement to avoid eye ho
. >> jon: captain america! (cheers and applause) >> jon: let me get you caught up. while many americans were enjoying america's fast food sidewalks and justy dashboard steaks our country moved close ever to self-inflicted economic coulds la, something we have known has been companying for as long as we have been told, it's coming. >> treasury secretary tim geithner sut approximatinging a date on what says would be a national disaster, as early as parch 31st. >> we can...
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Jul 12, 2011
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. >> jon: two years ago. >> a year ago. >> jon: but you held on to it fine wine. you wanted to age the show. >> i wanted to ride that baby as long as i could. listen, i didn't know i was going to get spiderman. i am going to ride that into the ground. >> jon: is that why it happened. >> i got spiderman so i quit rescue me. >> jon: you got spiderman. >> that will make a great movie franchise. you can't catch the premier of rescue me wednesday on 10:00 on fx this is the final season. >> this is it, baby. >> jon: what are you, seriously like [bleep] tellee savalas all of a sudden. >> yeah, with hair. >> jon: you can also see denis learing and friends on the thinning the herd tour. >> oh, that's right, i'm on tour. >> jon: wednesday night at -- >> you can read this why can't you reads one of tease books when they come out. >> and at the these never new jersey july 15th. denis leary. (cheers and applause) >> jon: that's our show, join us tomorrow night at 11:00. kid rock is going to be here. here is your moment of zen. >> the defense is sloppy and these could have been
. >> jon: two years ago. >> a year ago. >> jon: but you held on to it fine wine. you wanted to age the show. >> i wanted to ride that baby as long as i could. listen, i didn't know i was going to get spiderman. i am going to ride that into the ground. >> jon: is that why it happened. >> i got spiderman so i quit rescue me. >> jon: you got spiderman. >> that will make a great movie franchise. you can't catch the premier of rescue me wednesday on...
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wow. >> no, no. >> jon: wow! >> no. >> jon: i needed that. i needed that. >> you're welcome. >> jon: thank you. >> you're welcome. >> jon: though that was a little harder than in rehearsal and it was more on the eye than i thought it was going to be. >> i don't believe in half measures and i don't know how to fake slap anyway. >> jon: that's going to leave a mark. just because this guy runs a therapy practice that perpetrates a terrible so shiite al crime on gay people itç doesn't mean i should give. in we talked about in this group, jon. comedy is a choice. you weren't born this way. >> jon: i know. i know that. >> you understand? >> jon: i do know that. >> you can resist it. you must resist it. >> jon: it's so hard jerry. >> instead of going for the cheap gay joke try watching the footage. make astute observations. he's a big man. he is dancing. what kind of dance is he doing? >> jon: it's called the the shag. that's a funny name. he has a funny name. >> jon: marcus bachmann y is that funny? >> bachmann? is that a classical music superher
wow. >> no, no. >> jon: wow! >> no. >> jon: i needed that. i needed that. >> you're welcome. >> jon: thank you. >> you're welcome. >> jon: though that was a little harder than in rehearsal and it was more on the eye than i thought it was going to be. >> i don't believe in half measures and i don't know how to fake slap anyway. >> jon: that's going to leave a mark. just because this guy runs a therapy practice that perpetrates a...
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Jul 30, 2011
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i'm host jon scott. fox news watch is on right now. now. >> defaulting on our obligations is a reckless and irresponsibility outcome for this debate and the republican leaders say that they agree we must avoid default. but the new approach that speaker boehner unveiled today which would temporarily extend the debt ceiling in exchange for spending cuts would force us to once again face the threat of default just six months from now. in other words, it doesn't solve the problem. >> president obama in a prime time address monday night. that was a speech to the nation, usually, judy, when the president makes a prime time address, there is news to be made. you want to tell us that maybe, osama bin laden has been killed or something like that. was there any news? >> no, even chris mathews and joe scarboro on msnbc were noting, oh, by gosh, this was a scold lecture, saying something other than no, but the republicans were doing the same thing in all fairness. >> here is what michael gerson wrote in the washington post, a pelel address to the
i'm host jon scott. fox news watch is on right now. now. >> defaulting on our obligations is a reckless and irresponsibility outcome for this debate and the republican leaders say that they agree we must avoid default. but the new approach that speaker boehner unveiled today which would temporarily extend the debt ceiling in exchange for spending cuts would force us to once again face the threat of default just six months from now. in other words, it doesn't solve the problem. >>...
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Jul 20, 2011
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name is jon stewart. big show. big, big, big, big, big show. our guests tonight, we have on tonight's program pakistan's former president pervez musharraf. my guess is we'll have a delightful beverage and a lovely conversation. (cheers and applause) so let's begin tonight with the on going "news of the world" phone hacking scandal. to get you caught up, a seemingly simple story. ma and pa owned newspaper hacking into a murdered little girl's phone and... (laughter). ... paying the police to cover it up. has unfortunately turned ugly. (laughter) as of now, london's two top policemen at scotland yard let's call them officer blu rotton has resigned. andrew colton has been arrested and sunday tragically authorities arrested poor mrs. weasley. (laughter) wait, no that's not mrs. weasley. sorry, tragically, authorities arrested the guy from simply red. yeah, that's it. actually, arrested was rebekah brooks, the woman who ran "news of the world" during the worst of-- as the british call them-- the troubles. (lau
name is jon stewart. big show. big, big, big, big, big show. our guests tonight, we have on tonight's program pakistan's former president pervez musharraf. my guess is we'll have a delightful beverage and a lovely conversation. (cheers and applause) so let's begin tonight with the on going "news of the world" phone hacking scandal. to get you caught up, a seemingly simple story. ma and pa owned newspaper hacking into a murdered little girl's phone and... (laughter). ... paying the...
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Jul 26, 2011
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my name's jon forsythe, and i sea fd differently. excuse me? my grandfather was born in this village. [ automated voice speaks foreign language ] [ male announcer ] in here, everyone speaks the same language. ♪ in here, forklifts drive themselves. no, he doesn't have it. yeah, we'll look on that. [ male announcer ] in here, friends leave you messages written in the air. that's it right there. [ male announcer ] it's the at&t network. and what's possible in here is almost impossible to say. >> shepard: big battle brewing for movie rental values. largest retailer wal-mart unveiling a video service that will start streaming many movies on the same day they come out on dvd. this comes on the heels of a drastic price increase by the popular movie web site netflix. second rate hike in eight months. could raise fees 60% for existing netflix customers. now the judge in the casey anthony murder trial has made a huge decision. agreed to release the names of the jurors who acquitted casey anthony of murdering her own daughter. the judge originally withh
my name's jon forsythe, and i sea fd differently. excuse me? my grandfather was born in this village. [ automated voice speaks foreign language ] [ male announcer ] in here, everyone speaks the same language. ♪ in here, forklifts drive themselves. no, he doesn't have it. yeah, we'll look on that. [ male announcer ] in here, friends leave you messages written in the air. that's it right there. [ male announcer ] it's the at&t network. and what's possible in here is almost impossible to...
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Jul 24, 2011
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. >> jon: on fox news watch. >> this is the most humble day of my life. >> jon: news corporation's chief rupert murdoch makes a heart felt statement during the u.k. phone hacking scandal. his appearance with his son james was big news there and big news here. how else did the media react and what else have we learned about the scandal. >> republicans have laid out a responsible and detailed path forward, and the house has passed it. >> jon: the house passes a plan to fix the debt crisis, but the media condemn the effort. >> do we really have time for a plan that is really just show? >> and the great debt debate goes on with more distortion from the liberal press? >> there he's saying brinksmanship, trickery around the time of a deadline just to get your way is sort of economic terrorism. >> has the negative media coverage hurt the effort. >> g.o.p. presidential candidate michele bachmann goes on the defensive after a negative story about her health and ability. did that story fail the journalistic ethics test? >> having fired the imagination of a generation, a ship like no other, its pla
. >> jon: on fox news watch. >> this is the most humble day of my life. >> jon: news corporation's chief rupert murdoch makes a heart felt statement during the u.k. phone hacking scandal. his appearance with his son james was big news there and big news here. how else did the media react and what else have we learned about the scandal. >> republicans have laid out a responsible and detailed path forward, and the house has passed it. >> jon: the house passes a plan...
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Jul 8, 2011
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jon: all right. what about the tarp money? joys b. wants to know isn't there tarp money left? where is that going? jeff? >> well, i mean there is this larger issue of where i do disagree with steve moore on the nature of a fiscal policy. i think that the tarp was not fiscal stimulus, the tarp was to rescue the banks, and there is a lot to be said about that. relative to where we were two and a half years ago we came out pretty well on the banks. relative to where we were two and a half years ago when the economy was in free fall we are doing pretty well. we are averaging 800,000 jobs per month two and a half years ago. the current job situation, well, you know, bad, it's nowhere near as bad as then. steve said about a normal recovery, this is the third recovery in a row where the job market has lagged behind. the job market isn't lagging behind any worse this time than the previous two times. it's a really bad recession. >> i agree with a lot of what you said. if you look at this recession compared t
jon: all right. what about the tarp money? joys b. wants to know isn't there tarp money left? where is that going? jeff? >> well, i mean there is this larger issue of where i do disagree with steve moore on the nature of a fiscal policy. i think that the tarp was not fiscal stimulus, the tarp was to rescue the banks, and there is a lot to be said about that. relative to where we were two and a half years ago we came out pretty well on the banks. relative to where we were two and a half...
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Jul 23, 2011
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a lot of frustration across the country on this one, jon. thanks so much. >>> and still ahead here on "world news" this friday night, the queen and kate giving us a tour at buckingham palace. and the wedding dress. what surprised our reporter when he saw it? >>> the good life tonight. more of the boomers this evening. and this time, they're reinventing their bodies. meet the boomer putting our claire shipman through the ringer. >>> and, later tonight, you've got to see this. the little boy, the baseball captured in the stands -- and what none of us saw coming next. to keep in balance after 50, i switched to a complete multivitamin with more. only one a day women's 50+ advantage has ginkgo for memory and concentration, plus support for bone and breast health. a great addition to my routine. [ female announcer ] one a day women's. we throw out over $500 in food ziploc preevery year.gic. help save more of it with ziploc freezer bags featuring the smartzip seal. edge-to-edge protection you can hear. get ziploc and get more out of it. [ female an
a lot of frustration across the country on this one, jon. thanks so much. >>> and still ahead here on "world news" this friday night, the queen and kate giving us a tour at buckingham palace. and the wedding dress. what surprised our reporter when he saw it? >>> the good life tonight. more of the boomers this evening. and this time, they're reinventing their bodies. meet the boomer putting our claire shipman through the ringer. >>> and, later tonight, you've...
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Jul 16, 2011
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. >> jon: on fox news watch. one of news corporations leading publication, britain's news of the world is rocked by a major scandal over hacking phone messages, forcing the closure of that paper. arrests of deplayers, a high level resignation and allout attack against newscorp and the murdoch's family. >> and tell what yous they're doing. >> seems to break all the rules. >> are you telling me the people who work in that organization in this country have never ever used the same tactics? >> the hacking scandal tagged to several levels of the british government forcing parliament to investigate the accusation and calling rupert and james murdoch to set the record straight. >> they have no right to break the law if they're an american corporation. back here, politicians and the liberal press push for investigations into newscorp's u.s. operations trying to tie them to the news of the world scandal. what's behind this effort? >> that was then. >> despite administration denials, evidence emerges proving an anti-fox bi
. >> jon: on fox news watch. one of news corporations leading publication, britain's news of the world is rocked by a major scandal over hacking phone messages, forcing the closure of that paper. arrests of deplayers, a high level resignation and allout attack against newscorp and the murdoch's family. >> and tell what yous they're doing. >> seems to break all the rules. >> are you telling me the people who work in that organization in this country have never ever used...
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Jul 19, 2011
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senator minority whip jon kyl drew the line in the sand on sunday. >> nervounless the president gef his absolute obsession with raising taxes, republicans won't do anything to harm our economy. job-killing taxes harm our economy. there will not be a default. as to whether or not we can achieve savings in the process dpentding on the president. >> i did not hear the world probably. i heard the word not. republicans would rather see the markets crash, unemployment go through the roof and americans in bread lines before they raise one damn dime in taxes. when it comes to the debt crisis, republicans are only interested in playing rush roulette with the stupid catchphrases. >> let's let the american people decide if they want like cutting spends, capping the growth in government and requiring a balanced budget amendment to the constitution. let's have a national debate. >> to cut cap and balance plan in the house. >> cut the deficit, put a straitjacket on it and balance the budget, the cut, cap and balance. >> i want to make sure we cut spending here in washington. i want to make smur we ha
senator minority whip jon kyl drew the line in the sand on sunday. >> nervounless the president gef his absolute obsession with raising taxes, republicans won't do anything to harm our economy. job-killing taxes harm our economy. there will not be a default. as to whether or not we can achieve savings in the process dpentding on the president. >> i did not hear the world probably. i heard the word not. republicans would rather see the markets crash, unemployment go through the roof...